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Aching soul

Ha, last post was quite long ago. I have a bad tendency to get really exited quickly and also get bored really quickly. I realize this as a problem and I try to fix it.

a lot has been going on. Mostly in my own head. I am researcher and this depression is like research of myself. I have turned inside of myself. It is hard but also necessary when I'm building myself again, piece by piece. Letting go of all old baggage and beliefs. And it is long way, which is very difficult for me because I like to get thinks done quickly and move on. Well this depression have learned for me that I'm not able to do this just achieving things. I just have to be. Trust that everything goes as it is meant to. I know that depression can be lethal but I trust life, I'm learning to trust myself.

My heart and soul has always been aching for something, something that I don't quite know about. I have tried to search that something from outside of myself. But really that all is in me. All fulfillment, light, love, unity. Now, when I realize that, I just should start to live that. Wish it could be that easy.

One of my old workmate died last month. She was same age as I. She had rare cancer which she fought bag very long time. It was hard to read her obituary. She was so joyful and full of life.
This life, every single life is so precious. And it could end when ever. So, I think we should respect life everyday, do choices that embraces life. Show to our beloved ones that we love and care.
It is not about being afraid about death but just embracing life. Death is part of life same as birth.

So, with my aching soul I star this day, as many other days. Kissing and hugging my family. Drinking coffee and cuddle my dog and cats.

Wishing you all day that is full of life, with ups and downs.






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